Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I married a Neanderthal

Baby, baby, baby!

Him: baby?
Me: yes?
Him: My mouse is slow, do we have any batteries?
Me: Have you cleaned it?
Him: Oh yeah, you showed me that before, Hey! Look at all this crap! Thanks!
Me: *sigh* your welcome.
Him: Baby?
Me: Yes?
Him: Now I can't log in.
Me: Is your keyboard working?
Him: Um, no. Flips it over and hits the reset button. Damn, didn't work.
Me: Did you press the station button?
Him: Huh?
Me: Behind your screen, no, not on the back of the screen, next to our wedding picture, no, over,no, down.
Him: Oh yeah that!
Me: Is it working now?
Him: Yeah!

Him: Baby?
Him are you recording on both TV's?
Me:Yes, you don't go to bed till 10, the tivo will be done in the bedroom at 9.
Him:What are you recording?
Me: NCIS (like it matters)
Him: Oh ok 9 oclock you say?
Me: If I had a pocketdish I could record whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without tying up the bedroom tv.
Him: They have those?
Me: Yes, for all you know I've already ordered one.
Him: True

Him: Baby?
Me: Yes?
Him: What was wrong with the dishwasher?
Me: Nothing, somebody pressed too many buttons in the wrong sequence and it had to be reset.
Him: Oh yeah if it has buttons and you have to plug it in, I'm not suppose to touch it.
Me: Right.

***sidenote: his idea of doing laundry is turning the machine on, his idea of doing the dishes is to turn it on, this time he tried to switch it to pots and pans and heavy wash. And I had to sit here all day to wait on the diswasher repairman.

Him: Baby?
Him: I can watch a dvd while your show tapes.
Me: yep
Him: Goodnight (kiss) come to bed soon.
Me: um ok
Him:Baby (from the bedroom)
Me: WHAT! (just kidding!) Yeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss?
Him: where's the Ron White DVD?
Me: It should be in there. (walk into the bedroom sift through stacks of dvd's (damn! all porn, just kidding)
Him: I'll just watch this one.
Me: Ok, you can stop my show..
Him: No, I'll just watch this. If I can figure out how...
Me: There now you can watch.
Him: Don't I need the DVD remote?
Me: The one right behind you?!
Him: That's the TV remote..
Me: Duh, this one!
Him: Come to bed soon? Promise? When?
Me: Soon.
Him: 9 oclock I can watch my show?
Me: yes
It is now 9:09, I'm going to check on him. I knew it. Out like a light!

Really, I'm not a bitch. Just sayin.


Sarah said...

heh heh, sounds familiar...

you guys sound adorable!

Swishy said...

LOL. Don't you love how you have to explain everything to men?

Frannie Farmer said...


jagular said...

I feel ya. How about this one.
My speakers aren't working.
Are they plugged in?
Plug them in.
Ok, now they work.

Karitown said...

Very cute. Gotta love men.

Andie said...

this is hilarious.

and typical.