Thursday, March 04, 2010
Can I live in a room with a nice sunbeam and internet? Fuck my spare room with all it's pretty clothes, baubles and make-up. So So spoiled seriously. Whose husband lets them turn the MASTER SUITE into a a dressing room? If I lived in a room, I could travel when I wanted or sleep for days. I could come out when I wanted or stay in. I lived alone for 6 years, I don't want a whole townhouse or apt. I want a room with a view. I'm really no trouble, I could taxi or whatever I don't need the cars outside my house, I just crash shit anyway. People shouldn't call me, I really don't mind. How's about I call you? Maybe meet for coffee, but mostly I want my room just a room. a room with a nice sunbeam. On bad days I can close the blinds and huddle up as if I needed to stay warm from the cold from outside that I never walk upon.
welcome home I'm home I might call out to you if I hear you slow outside my room, my room with a nice sunbeam. Would you like to see my room, my room with a nice sunbeam, I ordered the nicest bed linens with new curtains to match. I even rearranged the art again. Come into my room, but don't make me come out. You're busy ..well that's okay too. Maybe some other day. your footsteps may slow or maybe you'll tap tap tap upon my door. Maybe it will be a good time for me and for you and I'll make you some cocoa and close the door behind you. And you will be in my nice little room with it's sunbeams dancing off all the crystals I hung. We may sip in silence or maybe laugh of my next desire, maybe you confide in me, for I don't come out much you see. The world is big and I am not though travel I think about alot, as long as I have my own little room just a dot on the globe, in a circle on our map then a box on the street where I am alot.
maybe I'll have my room soon, maybe just maybe even it's a room with a plastic slot to get into my own little room.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
So I'm on the down low if you know what I mean, keeping a low profile so my whole RL social circle is pretty much in the dark. Blogging friends, I know you won't blab it all over facebook.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
As for my lack of blogging, I was in the hospital again 8 LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGG days my gyno confirmed the hospital does have wi-fi! He's about two years older than me is totally about being connected. I had made it a mission to ask every doc,nurse, supervisor etc hence the gyno.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The best part was asking for the papers to release myself against medical advice. Only the the Dr's had released me already! The nurse had the clip board ready for my signature, 5 hours earlier. Fucker.
My original room was in a different ward that they had closed sometime while I was floating on morphine to a SHARED ROOM with 1 TV and a crack ho in the other bed. Thankfully Mom walked in and Honey followed five mins later. Mom was appalled, Honey was furious. The third iv infiltrated my right hand. I told them it was going blow....it looked like a latex glove filled air and then some. and i couldn't stop crying. So to prevent me from being a TTQ they kept me drugged, thank god I took my jewelry off and gave it to mom. I also was crying and said No DNR. I GIVE. I GIVE FUCKING UP.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Saturday, April 04, 2009
TTQ completed the quiz "Which crazy bitch are you?" with the result Sylvia Plath.
You are one intense bitch. You are almost abnormally introspective but this is where your abundant creativity flows from. You love handsome, brilliant, creative genius types but you pay the price when their egos and lustful ways cause them to betray you. You are a very intelligent, classy lady with a black streak and can be very emotional at times. You do have a bit of a morbid side but your words often lead you to be misunderstood as a dark figure but that is just how you protect your soft mushy insides
Way down the lane away, living for another day
The aphids swarm up in the drifting haze
Swim seagull in the sky towards that hollow western isle
My envied lady holds you fast in her gaze
Sing Blue Silver
Friday, April 03, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I stole this from Andie. I had nothing of my own. So, why not!!! Go visit her blog she is always doing something IRL. Seriously, I don't know how she does it, so I live vicariously through her.
1.Your rock star name (first pet, current car) - Sugar Explorer
2.Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe) - Vanilla Boots
3.Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal) - Black Cat
4.Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born) - Lee Chester
5.Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink) - Pink Rockstar
6.NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers) - Paul Clueless
7.Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)- Beautiful Truffle
8.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) -
Polyester (which I would change to Polly) Philadelphia (I can't recall the teachers name only that she was old and wore polyester pantsuits)
19.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower) - Winter Roses
10.Cartoon name:(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now) - Pineapple Panties
11.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) - Nothing Frangiponi
12.Movie star name (first pet, first street where you lived) - Sugar Atlantic
13. Witness Protection Name (Mother and Father's middle names)- Louise Roach
so what are yours?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Friday, March 06, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
On a side note: My Uncle was in town as he is every Febuary and treated us to wonderful 8 course meals, of course I ate things I shouldn't have. It wasn't my weight that I was watching out for, I ate too much meat and my liver produces poison that the blood can't cleanse on its own. I have medicine for it, I try to take it all the time but it makes me sick to my stomach making it hard to eat anything. So we had a brief little jaunt to the ER when it became clear that I was having another fit of encephalopathy (and the hospital was full, so they held me in an ER room for 12 hours). And that shit makes you crazy when it hits the brain. It's kinda like tripping I suppose. I couldn't speak anything but gibberish which is frustrating to me and to whom I speak with. Ugh. Then I thought I could write notes, but it took forever and when I was done it was gibberish too.
Apparently I also tried to walk out of the Hospital as well. Usually they hold me 3 or 4 days and/or my blood is clean again. Mom said Honey should have taken me earlier but he wasn't sure because I was sleeping. But when he kept waking me up again (allegedly) I was muttering nonsense and he's just looking at me like my hair was on fire. My GP took me the next day in his office. His smug ass plops down and says so you were a little fuzzy the other night. Actually Dr. SmugAss, I was off MY Fucking Rocker. And I really don't like being outta my freaking gourd and making a scene.
And the story gets better, Honey spent the day running out for more medicine, my Tropical Smoothie, the grocery and starts dinner in a crock pot. So Monday was good he even watched House with me in the bedroom! He always goes to bed with FOX news or Nancy Grace on bedroom TV. We go to sleep, he gets up goes to work and I get a phone call at 8:30 am..NOBODY calls the house before 12 unless its prearranged. It's the Office Manager from his office. Honey has been taken to the ER with chest pains. So now I'm up and I can't drive myself anywhere, so I call Mom. She was coming over anyway to take me to the Dr., so now she's coming early and I have to walk into the same ER I was freaking crazy in the day before. I sucked it up and kept my eyes looking any where a nurse wasn't. So now Honey's in the hospital with a kidney function problem, once they fix that they are going to do a Heart Cath. Hopefully he'll get out tomorrow or Friday, The heart Dr told me thats about right.
So for the first time in almost 5 years that I've spent the night alone unattended.
Is it wrong to want to go back to Mom's? I would but the pets "kids" are here.
Just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down....
Only in my life, only in my life. But for now I'm just a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
Monday, February 02, 2009
Award Shows suck. zzzzzzzz
Dark,twisted and sacrcastic troubled people turn me on. TV shows, books and movies...music. Everything. Thank God I married Honey in a fit on sensibility he was the opposite of every bad boy (okay well older men that tend to brood) asshole. Why would I want to see people glide onstage and grasp some phallic like object coated in some semi-precious metal? I mean really if they tripped and fell, that would make me watch. Yeah so I like some of the movies, some I couldn't be bothered with and lastly I'm more of an indie girl, but that doesn't make the Sundance Award Show any better.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tommorow Honey and I are taking a tiny road trip to Orlando to stock up on more cigars. I figure we can have a nice lunch before we have to be home at 3:00 pm to feed the kids. I'm also going to find (wish me luck!) Mom a watch that looks like the one I just bought while we were in St. Augustine, she is wishing she had got one for herself. Or maybe I should just give her mine, I already told she can borrow it whenever she wants..
Glad to be home, missed my internet, missed my kids, really really missed Honey although he called us a zillion times a day. Fun dinner on Sunday with Mom and Honey planned!!! Yay! Food and laughter!
It's like a belated Christmas since she was released the day before Christmas and nobody bothered to put trees up at either house, we were all a mess. No presents or usual customs, but the sun is here again!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Especially endearing if you have ever been hit with Dissociative Identity Disorder or know or deal with one. Good Times! Good Times! Now watch the 1st episode, I so nicely posted..Drum Roll Please! THE UNITED STATES OF TARA! by Showtime
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
My middle sister and her husband arrived last night, which was good because I was getting ready to slash my wrists .Rememember Mom is the real TTQ. I've made it seem so cute, but it really isn't funny when it's for real. I expect and then accept while she demands.It's all fun and games till somebody gets hurt and I'm not laughing. So she's on duty with mom.
We went to dinner at Mom's where my BIL made a great dinner of fresh grouper. I had alligator at lunch with sis and husband out where airboats are launched. I got to sleep in my own bed last night and now I'm home again with Honey who is drawing me a nice bubble bath. Those are the only bubbles we will see tonight.
The fireworks have started and we are going through my meds to see what we can give to our doberman, he does not like fireworks. Xanax and Seroquel? Maybe an Ambien? Our beagle gets scripts for valium and predisone and that knocks him out. We just want him to sleep while I watch tv and Honey snores next to me. Yep Real Party animals.
Oh and Happy Freaking New Year.
Monday, December 22, 2008
When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear
Hair is grey
And the fires are burning
So many dreams
On the shelf
You say I wanted you to be proud of me
I always wanted that myself