Saturday, February 03, 2007

I have F'ing Issues, Ok? Now hand me a tissue

Yeah so the trip to Ft. Lauderdale sucked for the most part. Or maybe I just need my meds upped.

Did I mention that the Superbowl Parties were kicked off around Mon or Tues? A) I don't watch football B) I don't drink. Need any elaboration? Didn't think so.

My mom listed the townhouse with a realtor, the new girls had the place looking real cute. They are young girls working in a beach club. Did I ever mention I was a succesful bartender in my early 20's? Then I became a succesful drinker, and the owner told me to get a real job he wasn't going to sit around and turn into a 40 year old bar wench, because I had brains and this was not my destiny. Not sure if I was fired, or I left after our heart to heart.

He's known me since I was in high school. Did I mention I got a phone call last week from a friend/roomate/etc. Tommy( The bar owner and the step father of my friend) has just been diagnosed with liver cancer. He has 3-4 months to live.

Did I mention that in the midst of the Fletch having surgery, I was having ultrasounds and cat scans because my Dr. found a mass on my right abdomen. I had felt it but didn't think much of it then I was worried about Fletch, then about Tommy.

Spent the entire week in Ft. Lauderdale in a massive panic attack, I was so off my rocker it never dawned on me to take a xanax till Tuesday when my husband asked if it was working. He was ready to drop everything drive 4 hours to pick me up and drive us home that night. Sweet. I love me some Honey.

By Wednesday , Mom was ready to leave early if I wanted or if it would make me feel better. She's a good mommy

I was determined to stay and and do our touristy thing in Miami by visiting Viscaya, it was calm and beautiful. Pics will be popping up here or you can click my Flickr banner and it will take you to some I uploaded already. They just aren't cropped or flipped..just raw pics.

So those are my issues well the ones I can remember. I have awesome a coping mechanism where I can shut down completely and pretend that everything is a ok, when it's not really. I used to think I wouldn't mind being agoraphobic, but when it really starts to kick in, It's really not fun. Like I said maybe I need my meds up


Cyd said...

Man, I thought of calling to check in (I missed your blog posts!). I figured you were with Mom so must be okay. And I guess you were, so

Sorry to hear about Tommy. That's rough.

Sarah said...

Whooo, it sounds like a harsh time. I am so sorry things aren't looking better for you right now. I hope you get well and I am here for ya!

I want to send you a key fob that you really like, let me know which one and email me your address:

xoxoxox Sarah

Anonymous said...

How incredible! I have panic attacks too!!

I have a closet full of Xanax!

I am so impressed you are traveling. That is so hard for me. I panic everytime!

Frannie Farmer said...

Ugh. I am sorry sweetie - what a rough thing to go through.
Sending you hugs ... and prayers.