The World Outside My Home Is A Shitty Place

The world outside our home is one big bathroom according To Zeus and Fletch. They are the epitome of house pets. They will lay in bed all day long and actually get quite snippy when it's time for us to leave the house and shut them out of the bedroom. Getting them to go outside often requires two of us to cajole, beg, and trick them out to the yard. Their poop is scooped and disposed of like automated machine. They will scratch and knock on the door immediately after doing their business. If I sit with them on the patio, they would rather come sit with me than romp around the yard. Often they just stand on the patio and look around as if they are being forced to stand in a grocery store line. Yeah, that excited. Lazy, lazy, lazy bums. It's a good thing they love to cuddle and give love, cause that's what they are good for. Unconditional love for us, even when being scolded for stealing food from the table. I do have to admit they are becoming more well-behaved since I entered the picture. Fletch no longer stands on tables. Zeus no longer chews on the sofa. Oh and we really don't need an alarm with a Doberman named Zeus.