Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchie on Harpers Bazaar

We can hardly believe our eyes – scrawny tabloid queens and walking car social crashes Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie on the cover of US Harpers Bazaar with an equally scrawny pair of rat-faced dogs (quite apt, really). Obviously the powers that be at Bazaar have taken leave of their senses or else they are frigging desperate to snag some of the billions of tabloid readers who (for some reason) worship these two vacuous heirheads and NEVER seem to tire of them as covergirls. Their love lives in particular provide endless gossip mag fodder – mainly because these girls’ beds are revolving doors so there’s ALWAYS some new meat head boyfriend to write about. Or some sex tape. Or some eating disorder. Or some driving offence. Or some drug problem. Or some night club romp. The same roster of Paris and Nicole ‘issues’ week in week out. Enough. Already. Of course we expected better of Bazaar, the self appointed ‘bible of style', but then again with declining circulation, we're not surprised they're taking the tabloid approach. Our guess is that they’ve legitimized their decision because of the girl’s vast designer wardrobes. But a Balenciaga It-Bag does not maketh a high-fashion glossy covergirl. US Bazaar has been through a few editors in recent years and thus prone to periodic bouts of schizophrenia, so let’s hope this is just an identity crisis that will soon pass. Whatever the whys, we’re panning this cover and asking you to donate the cover price to the blind dog association. Leave these two more-money-than-sense trash bags where they belong – in tabloid hell.

By Nobody Cares Really