Freakish Day

1) A lamp fell off a shelf in my closet,the glass shade hit my head and left a cut.
2) Get call from my honey, that I just went speeding past him...pull over wait for him to make a u-turn, he wants to see the cut on my noggin.
3) Arrive at Mom's house where a friend is picking me up to go to my wedding dress fitting, mother is cursing at Road Runner tech support on speaker phone.... .
4) Get on road south to Melbourne, rain starts very hard, call Bridal Shop, let them know I'm running late.
5) Dress has been altered and custom back is almost complete. One problem, my boobs which fit nicely in to the dress at the last fitting, appear to have shrunk. While getting repined a new bride to be, her mother and grandmother walk in. "What I want isn't what I thought I wanted" remarks the newly engaged. Granny calls out "Over here they got them wrinkled dresses...(ITS CALLED SILK ORGANZA). Dress owner whips around to see what they are talking about, she looks relieved to see the organza dress she was referring to. She begins to instruct the seamstress again, muttering to herself and me that every dress is pressed before coming out of the back. She makes sure of it herself. After walking forward backwards, spinning and every other move I might have to make is tested. Headpiece on, veil on, off, on, off, on...Finally they are ready to finish the dress, only one more fitting to go. My shorts and t-shirt feel great, very happy to be back in them.
6) Stop at convenient store for energy drinks, get back on the road, at a stop light the car next to us motions that our rear wheel is low or flat ( I can't read lips, just know what the hand signals were)
7) Pull into gas station, Do you plug tires (There is a small service shop attached to the store)? No, do you sell fix a flat, no? Guy says go up three blocks there's a tire shop. Ok, but our tire is very very flat. Throw three quarters into Air Machine, nothing..Are you pressing the button, yes, I'm pressing the button. Get whistled out while bent over. They could have offered to help. Now I have to go back and ask rude man, ok is your air machine broken? No , someone just used it. Thanks, Thanks ALOT Throw more quarters in..finally it starts, begin adding air? How do you know when it's done? When it's not flat anymore, we are going three blocks.
8) Pull into Tire Shop, everyone smiles, but they all skirt around us, avoiding us, finally we corner a guy, Do you plug tires? No mam, we patch from the inside. Okay how long does that take. I can't fit you in today it's almost 5. Great Just freakin great. Make a u-turn and go three blocks up and on your right is a another tire shop, they plug tires. (Is this some kind of joke???)
9) Find the place, there are about 80 gazillion people parked all over the place and people hanging out waiting for their cars to be worked on. Do you plug tires? Yes $5 bucks, pull around the corner and park on the side of the building, it's going to be awhile. The place is horrible, just covered in grime,we choose to sit on wall facing traffic, we look like two hookers having a bad day and too lazy to strut. We just don't care anymore, it's hot,its muggy. We settle in and contemplate life. Two hours later we are done. I should have been home three hours ago.">