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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Bad Bad Days ( A Rant)

I've been back in the hospital (isn't weird that British people say in hospital?). Again they sent me home with more pain meds and a ton of follow ups to do. I didn't even ask for my story, song or joke. I've been begging for help and relief. In tears. I've probably have had six meltdowns since Monday. I now have a migraine on top of it. Yesterday my keys were in jeopardy of being confiscated by Honey. Today I had another Dr's appt. Again I had a meltdown, I feel like a broken record. Nobody can give me any answers because they have never had a case like mine before. They are however going to do the exploratory surgery out patient but under General Anthesia so that's good and bad, my blood pressure is so low, I can" bottom out" as they say.. I'm freaking out because I know this is hard on Honey and he has been missing so much work to look after me, he has the vacation and sick time, it's just that he gets behind when he has to cancel his appointments with clients. So I worry his boss is going to chew him out.

Things right now are unbearable and I'm losing my "trooper" face. 90 degrees ou and I'm wearing long sleeve shirts to cover track marks, they blew 4 veins again. I look like a freaking zombie heroine addict only not that skinny.

I'm tempted to give up and say the hell with medicine and dr's.

8 comments:

Cyd said...

I wish I could be with you, and give you a big big sister hug. Exploratory surgery? When?

meno said...

You have a lot to deal with. I'm sorry, i wish i could help.

LeighAnn said...

I'm so sorry to hear you aren't well. It's funny, but when I don't feel well, I love to get new throw blankets I can curl up in.

Hang in there.....it will all work out.

steph said...

i'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. i'm thinking of you and hoping that things get better!!!

soapy t said...

try to stay positive. i can imagine it's hard, but i willed a ex-friend to "just go away" and now she's movig across the country next week. i will stay postive for you, even if you can't.

Smileygirl said...

You are in my thoughts. Just take things one day at a time. That's all you can do.

Do you want more Chumley videos???

Andrea said...

Aw, hon! Can you feel this great big hug coming from Memphis?

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