Yesterday I got the news that a friend had died. He didn't just die, he comitted suicide. Honey saw his name sign into aol IM and sent him a message only to have the response come for Honey's Doc, who is the brother of our friend. He was going through e-mails and whatnot. I guess trying to make sense of it all. Rememeber a few weeks ago I asked if they had internet in heaven, because sometimes I was tempted to write a letter to him at his old e-mail, but was afraid that his family would be reading it. I have a hand written hidden journal for this kind of thing anyways. Therapists, sponsors and rehabs all encourage letter writing. Letters that will never be sent. a healthy outlet, a place to reflect, to get angry and to see your part if any in it.
This was a friend who always appeared to have it together, then he went through a nasty divorce, hated being away from his kids and moved back from Japan where he was a professional for a major import/export manufacturer. Honey tried like hell to help him when he started drinking again and it worked for awhile, but the more slips he made the more distant he became from us. He began moving around alot. He commited his suicide in North GA, nobody really knows why of all places he was there. The one thing I will say is he kept appearances up so well, not too many people thought he of all people would do such a thing. Honey and I being a bit closer knew he was heading for trouble, then he dissappeared. We weren't shocked to hear the news, nor were we angry. It's ineveitable for people with his type of drinking will die, end up in jail or mental institutions.
I know how he must of felt, I've been there before. The saddest part is his children, twins around 11 and an older child in their teens.