Friday, February 01, 2008

Bits Of Bumbles

From: Single + Cats= Sad

I found out yesterday that I was choosen to be a photo double for a new Spike TV show filming here. I'm a little nervous about this because apparently the photo I'm doing is for an episode where one of the show's characters is looking at a lingerie catalog. And then bam -- there's me.

The shoot's tomorrow.I hope it's from this catalog (imagine photo of girls in granny nightgowns).Um, ceasing eating, immediately. Spray tan, pronto.

I told my mom about it on the phone last night but said that I was a little wary about it because it was on Spike and I thought it could be a little shady.

Mom: "Oh, I don't get Spice TV. I think you have to pay extra for that."

Me: "NO! No no no no no! Not SPICE mom, SPYYYYYKE."

Mom: "Oh! Whew."
From: Wishful Writer

Most of you know I work at a school for kids with severe behavioral and emotional disorders.

But I have some new readers (welcome!) and it's important to set this story up in the right context.

Last Friday, the teacher in our classroom was working with the third graders on their reading skills.

She wrote down a word on an index card and asked the students to raise their hands if they knew what the letters spelled.

Kids learn to read in stages.

The first step is learning the sounds that each letter in the alphabet makes.

Usually, new readers will sound out the first letter of a word and then say the first thing that comes to mind.


Let's say the word is APPLE.

A child will sound out the A.

ah, ah, ah

And then he/she might say: ANT!

Or whatever A word comes to mind first.

Okay, back to my classroom.

Derrick's* hand shot up immediately after reading the word on the index card.

His hand was waving so hard that I actually felt a breeze on the other side of the classroom.

He was straining, making his torso as long as he could, in hopes that the teacher would call on him first.

Unable to resist, she did.

The word on the card was PULL.

He said:

"Puh, puh, puh, puh - PORN!"

Third grade, people.

Third grade.

The first P word he could think of was PORN.

God Love Him.

The silence in the classroom was met with laughter. Peels of it.

Derrick was so confused.

He truly thought he had the right answer.


So my brother is on break from college and he just got a job. Guess what his job is. Just GUESS.

OK, ready? Whatever you guessed: WRONG. My brother is test driving motorized wheelchairs. Like, in a warehouse somewhere. Just PICTURE that, will you? This is a kid, by the way, who managed to both drive into a ditch AND knock over a mailbox before he even got his driver's license. Which, by the way, we are not ever allowed to mention in my front of my mother without risking an hour-long lecture on being nice to our baby brother, but I digress.

Anyway, today was his first day, and apparently he now has an unshakeable case of the dizzies thanks to hours spent rolling around in slow circles. ("Every time I close my eyes, it's like I'm in the wheelchair again!" he says.)


meno said...

But wouldn't single minus cats be even sadder?

Andrea said...

LOL! I love reading your bumbles! :)

soapy t said...