Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Random Musings

Can I wear my ipod during my surgery?

Will I even care when I get to 98? 100, 99, 98 OUT! Like A Light.

Why do I think it is so important to have my eyebrows in tip top shape for this?

Why do I always ask for my current book when I know they will be pumping morphine into me all the words get jumbled like well a word jumble? I might as well ask for a sudoku and just fill it in randomly. This time, I'm packing my laptop and movies. I can always re-rent movies.

On the menu where you pick what you want for the next days meals would it be rude to write "DON'T BOTHER, I'M NOT EATING THIS CRAP" on it? I made a list of things honey can bring me that are healthy and tasty.

Is it morbid that I made a mini will and stuck it in my "real" jewelry box? Mom doesn't know it yet but I'm dropping it off at her house tomorrow. Just the good jewelry but there is a list of things that I want other people to have. Honey gets my pension and life insurance. And that's about all I have any say about, those go to him by default.

Oh and I want my phone this time. It takes me 5 or 6 tries to dial my own damn house or honeys cell without it.

Do you think I can talk them into a little lipo while they are in there anyways? I won't tell anybody it was "pro bono".

And again, Why the hell don't hospitals have wireless Internet? People live and breath through their puters. I could go into withdrawal and die

Why must everybody don gowns? My ass and breasts aren't being worked on. Walking around holding it closed sucks, I bring pj shorts and tank tops.

How in the hell did my tattoo end up in my medical history? Seriously, is that why we have to don gowns? Or else I have ob/gyn who doesn't miss a thing. Who by the way is the McDreamy of the hospital, the pre-op nurse says "Isn't it he a cutie..everybody loves him." Sorry but I don't get crushes on actors or doctors and do you really want a McDreamy poking around your belly? Not me, I hate when my husband touches my belly.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Who's Running The Show?

Honey has a client who is moving and can't take their dog with them. So sad, when I heard him talking on his phone he said he would have to run it by me first. My first question? What is it a dog or a cat? It's a dog. It's a pitbull (yikes where I'm from in Ft. Lauderdale it's illegal to even own one). Still, Honey said it was the sweetest thing, fixed and up on all it's shots. We actually considered it until 5:00 am this morning when I tried to go back to bed after being up sick all night. My reason? We just can't fit another dog in the bed. Not to mention the delicate or sometimes not so balanced household we have going on already. My beagle is a sweetie and likes to be a big baby, our doberman is missing a few crayons from the box. He is however a sweetie too, if you can get pass him. My middle sister can actually walk right into our house when she visits from GA and our dogs don't make a fuss or even bark. My Mom loves her grandkids but they love her just a little too much and almost knock her down before climbing into her lap at the same time, she'd probably never come over again if we got a pit bull. My vote? A new little baby fluffy kitty for Babyfred to make into her protege. Then it would be 2 and 2 and 2 of us.

Seriously, we are suckers for animals. With the upcoming surgery, I wouldn't be able to train or watch them 24/7. We just got a new sofa and club chair. I promptly covered our couch with a sofa cover and an old bedspread. Company coming no problem, just whip them off. So we just amuse (torture) ourselves with all the homeless animals we can't take home. Who knew you could fit all three animals and me on a sofa? That's where we have been all day, they were nursing mommy back to health. Love'em to pieces.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Pre-ops all systems go. 'cept for having nausea mostly likely from nerves. Though the xanax and the phenegren aren't kicking in like they should be. I thought I had some motion systen meds around here too, I just can't find them. The Nazi (honey) will be my keeper for 4 days then will go back to work. Mom is more idulgent and will play my silly games. She won't sing, tell me a story or a joke..but she will make funny faces on command. It's only suppose to be outpatient, but I've been told there is a good possibility they will keep me, especially after just spending a week at my favorite hotel (ahem, I mean't hospital) No frequent fliers miles though or hotal rewards. Just meals I won't eat, and demand that food be brought in to me and that I have plenty of ones for the vending machines. ( Bitchy, I know). But I do know now that I can't go to the first floor unless you have a pass. I can even tell you that I'll probably be on floor 3, which isn't my favorite ward but it's ok. I packed my own bags just in case, kinda like insurance if you have a bag ready you getto go home, if you have to go in a hurry they keep you forrrrrreeeeeeeeevvvvvvvverr and you husband will be looking for alll the off the wall things I ask for

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Just Plain Nutty

Acorn Necklace

It's the revenge of the nut! This heavy gold acorn opens up to reveal a tiny captive squirrel. The piece was inspired by antique mourning jewelry; acorns were a popular theme because they represented immortality. (kinda cool)
  • 18K yellow gold (Okay that's a good feature)

  • 26" chain (It could fall into your cleavage)

Price 6,000, yes, you read that right. $6,000

I thought of my sister until I read the price. What's next Gem Sweaters in fall leaves and various nuts?

  • $6,000.00

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

For Moi?

A New Yorker by way of NOLA loves me! That makes two ( ahem Soapy ahem) New Yorkers. It's pink and it's black. And it reminds me of firecrackers. I love it. Actually, I'm a self proclaimed attention whore. But now I've got some validation.. and I'm off and running.

Go vist the OTHER Queen: The Supreme Nicotine Queen

Yikes, It's Almost Here!

Today is pre-op day. First the doctor at 2:30 then the hospital at 3:30. Honey just called to see if he should rearrange his day to go. I told him it's no big deal, it's probably just instructions and paperwork. I'm more worried about the time in between, the Dr's office is across the street from the hospital. I can't imagine it will take an hour, I suppose I'll just go and see if they take me early. Then I'll be done with Dr's till Friday and the laproscopy next Thursday. I picked up the reports rom the hospital from my stay last week. It stated I was "youthful" in appearance (yay!) and "Unfortunate" (wtf?). I never think of myself as unfortunate, I tend to think I'm lucky.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Fruity Pebbles

TV Guide Mad Libs

There is nothing on TV new anymore, so I've made my own Mad Libs from the TV Guide Online.

Big Movie Premiere: The Dark Knight

Ugly Betty
and her

Greatest American Dog
who wonders if you

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
and why she is desperate to be the

Last Comic Standing

This Old House Hour

run by


Thelma & Louise

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Swimmers And Sinkers

I was going to get all deep and blog about last week. I am now repressing and stuffing all of last week. I was up till 5:00 am over last week. The whole debacle was not one of my finer moments. And I've had a slew of unproud moments. Talk about showing your ass. Literally. M' kay? Some of us swimmers fight their way upstream as a goal in life.

Monday, July 14, 2008

I Think You Are Crazy. Crazy Like Me. Probably.

Can You See The Beauty Of Your Chaos?

Drama. Major Drama. I've been absent and was stripped of all my wordily goods, all gadgets and communication vessels included. Honey came home last Monday morning to find me collapsed on the bathroom floor. Nobody really knows the why and the how, though theories abound. I sniffled and bawled at the ones that were the furthest from the truth. I couldn't speak, my tongue had swollen up making me incoherent, not that my brain had any other control. I was complete and utter mess. I was confused, scared, weak, and afraid that my whole life made out of a deck cards with 51 cards was crumbling. The life I've had to make from scratch. Gone. And I couldn't even yell...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Mr & Mrs Berry (Berry Good Times)

I just logged into Flickr and found that my niece had FINALLY uploaded wedding pics. Ok, I can't really give her a hard time , memory cards are so cheap I just keep buying new ones, then I date them and put them in a box..

The good time coed- bachelor/ bachelorette party!!! Go to the November 2007 posts for the crazy ass party pictures. Honey is in the green, our niece (not the one getting married) is the blonde, the blonde guy is her dad, who would be my BIL 'cept for a tiny divorce thing... And the handsome black dude is an extended family member without blood ties. Warning Honey should not be allowed to play with him. But we let it happen anyway knowing something is going to end up in the family archive....

The ocean front venue, it was freezing. The Wedding was in November....

Honey and I can behave. Seriously. Or maybe it was because I got out of the Hospital 2 days before the Wedding. That us in the second row for family, we found out later we were suppose to be in the front row..oopsie. I'm the one in dark glasses , Honey is the bald guy.
This is when things started to get crazy and I was ready to faint so we left it to the younger kids, like my new nephew (my age) and niece (who is 4 or so years younger than me) . I also love that the groom is bald like my Honey.

I love this picture of the bride, she looks ready to know the stuff that comes after you get married.

The end.