Observations

1) If you eat nothing but fruit loops and bagels for a week (maybe more) your poo WILL turn NEON green.



2) If you throw up during this time, you will spew this neon Nickelodeon goo as well.



3) If everybody in the house gets insomnia it will feed off the other's energy. NOBODY WILL SLEEP.



4) It's been 3 weeks since my surgery, I'm not cleared for driving, sex, baths, vacumming. Recovery time is 4-6 weeks. I'm still bleeding somewhat and I'm still in pain. Next appt is the 19th. I'm hoping to get an ok to swim since we will be on a cruise in two weeks.



5) Going with Honey to the Pharmacy is a big deal, they have other crap you can buy while waiting. Going to the grocery store is not fun with Honey, he keeps checking to make sure I don't walk into a display of creamed corn or knock over the watermelons. I may be a tad stoned but I walk slowly and carefully, just like on cops.



6) I think my Big Sister has turned into a Secret Service Agent. Seriously. I'm going to have Honey kidnap her on the cruise and we can interrogate her in our cabin. That will be fun.



7) My 18 year old neice added me as a friend on facebook. Her boyfriend is hot. I'm not even going to spill what I've learned so far. Which is nothing more than what any 18 year old does.



8) If you build it they WILL come.



9) Why we bother to have a home phone anymore is beyond me. We actually pay the phone company just so telemarketers, political parties and phone charities can call US!



10) I have to go lay down again, I'm going to spew neon green again if I don't.

Sweet Valley High, Here I Come

TV Reviews

Woof! Who Knew?

What Breed of Dog Are You?

My Result: Poodle

No bones about it, you're a go-ahead-and-spoil-me Poodle. Intelligent and discerning, why should you settle for anything but the best? No good reason comes to mind. You appreciate the finer things in life, from the trendiest clothes to the best restaurants. Maintaining your health and appearance is a must — you owe it to yourself to look and feel tip-top. The result? An impeccable fashion sense, perfect grooming, and the latest must-have "toys" and accessories. Unfortunately, that can be a little intimidating to people who don't know you. They might think you're a bit cold or distant. But your close friends know better. Your nearest and dearest can see beyond the glitz and glamour to the smart, considerate person within. Woof!

Take this test >

World's Largest Bloom Has Acne

I've never seen this woman in my life. Actually, I've never seen a plant like this in my life. If I were her I wouldn't get so close..it could suck her head right into its center. She should run..agggghh! Too late it has her foot! OMG! she's going going gone..It's mighty death grip took advantage of her smiling and posing with the pretty flower and got her. Bad plant!Bad!

BTW it's a Rafflesia arnoldii: this parasitic plant develops the world's largest bloom that can grow over three feet across. The flower is a fleshy color, with spots that make it look like a teenager's acne-ridden skin. It smells bad and has a hole in the center that holds six or seven quarts of water. The plant has no leaves, stems, or roots.

For the rest of the list I found go here. especially if phallic symbols make you giggle.

Monday Meme "Unconscious Mutterings"

Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

That's an admirable goal, but for the purposes of this excercise, we're just hoping to have a little fun with the technique. Which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind.
"Rules are, there are no rules." There are no right or wrong answers. Don't limit yourself to one word responses; just say everything that pops into your head.

1. Cluster :: Fuck



2. Announcement :: Wedding



3. Respect :: Your Elders



4. Incident :: Oopsie



5. Accordion :: The World According to Garp



6. Drunk :: Sober



7. If :: When



8. Dexter :: Poin



9. Wedding :: Bells



10. Gambling :: Pissing in the wind

Barking Ta-Ta's

Dogs barking. Dogs barking. Honey egging it on since we never really hear Fletch bark to often, which is good it's not a bark it's a bray and Honey finds it funny(Where the Fuck is my Xanax?!). Zeus, on the other hand is our doorbell. We get to hear him every day. Apparently he has "town" rules of his own, like he owns all property in front of our house including the sidewalk and the people across the streets house. So yeah, we hear him a lot. But both dogs barking at once..I'm going to shove my earphones in my ears and start counting minutes till our vacation. Three more days, three more days. This is worse than Christmas. Please be Sunday when I wake up, then we can grab our bags and get on the ship. I know I shouldn't be throwing away my days at this age. But is it so wrong to be so impatient while waiting on vacation?

On a side note: Next month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I was at the post office today and a car in the lot that said "Save the Ta-Tas!" Naturally I looked down at my own Ta-Ta's and said "Ta-Da! Don't worry my pretty little melon shaped friends, we are up to date on our testing". Are you? Because you guys already know I like to say Ta-Da! and saying it with Ta-Ta's! Enunciation bliss! Ta-Da! Your Ta-Ta's have been squished and flattened enough, you are good to go! So please get your Ta-Ta's checked and come back to me and just put Ta-Da! in the comment section doesn't matter which post, I'll know what it means.

I thought of a slogan for prostate cancer but I'll blog on that some other day.

Too hot to think, too hot to blog

It's too hot to breathe, It's too hot to go outside. It's sucking the life out of us, Honey is hiding in the dark bedroom napping with the dogs. I'm watching the rain clouds roll in, as soon as it rains the heat will be washed away until tomorrow.

Tomorrow when I go to my car, it will be like opening a furnace. You can actually see the heat come out, the same with driving on the asphalt of the straight flat roads, it appears that there are pools of water on the road.The car steering wheel singes your hands when you first get into your car. The metal piece on the seat belt is too hot to touch and will actually cause to snap your hand away like you had touched a burner. Stopping to get a slurpee which melts in 5 mins is the high point of the day.

This is the perfect weather to spend all day in a cold, dark movie theater. I've never been one to pay for one movie and then sneak into another one right after, but I am tempted now. A stop at Target to load my purse up with the good gummy bears and maybe some Snow Caps because just the name Snow Caps sound good, like an Icee. Anything to get out of this heat, even the pool is not an option, the sun is brutal no clouds, I would burn in about 5 mins flat.

At least the a/c is working now, it hasn't clicked off in ages, it's struggling to keep the house a cool 77. But the new motor is up to the job.

Bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

bored,bored,bored, bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored,bored

At least I think I am, I think I am, I think I am..BORED. bOrEd. BoReD.

Here Kitty Kitty! hehe. Mommys bored! Babyfred? Zeus? Fletch? I think they are hiding from me silently screaming save us, save us from Mommy! She's gonna dress us up and make that thing flash in our eyes over and over!