Brangelina Buy A 60 Mill French Estate

It took me awhile to actually read why the picture was in the news, I couldn't stop staring at her boobs. That rack makes the babybump seem graceful and private. As for Angelina caring about a 35 bedroom house with all the bells and whistles, she's too busy looking at her boobs. If I had boobs like that I would stare at them all day too. 6 more years and I'm getting mine jacked up like hers. I'm going hit 40 with a bang.

Dude, You Are So Doomed

Okay, so Honey took me out yesterday because I swear I was getting cabin fever. I picked Target, World Market and Bed, Bath and Beyond. We are at Target, where you can buy everything from a Coach purse to motor oil. We bought a cheesecake for today's dinner (they carry The Cheesecake Factory Cheesecakes in the freezer section, which is good because otherwise we would have to leave the beach and go to Orlando to get one). So I move on to greeting cards, it's a effin zoo. But I manage to slip into a spot and pick out a couple, when I see this absolutely gorgeous little blonde girl in a white eyelet sundress standing in a cart. I go back to Honey, tug on his shirt and tell him to look at her. She is like a doll, my heart strings are being pulled. Honey points out something else is in the cart with her. It's a Swifter squirting WetJet Mop, or whatever they are called. So? I ask. Honey points out the girl is ALONE with her daddy, while DADDY picks out a Mother's Day card. It appears that this guy is going to give his wife, the mother of that adorable breathtaking girl a Swifter Wetjet for Mother's Day. Uh-Oh. Yeah, big Uh-oh. Honey wants to know if he should go warn the guy that he is a dead man if he brings that home to his wife. I dare him. Then double dog dare him to tell the guy. Honey won't do it. The guy looks like an asshole, he has board shorts on, a baseball hat backwards and looks... just that he looks like.... well like an asshole. You don't buy your wife cleaning products for a present, except for maybe a Roomba, because those are actually fun too. But a mop? A bag of rags? A Chamois? Not even if she asks for it. This is my Honey explaining this to me, like I need him to do that, but yeah I fall more in love with my honey knowing he is never going to do that to me. I chime in that you don't buy a treadmill, a stairmaster, thighmaster, ab cruncher even with her asking for it in any way passing even if she is the most athletic girl in the world, for a present. Because nothing screams "Get your ass in shape before I leave you for a bimbo" like exercise equipment on Christmas or any other gift giving holiday. The same way cleaning products scream "You don't keep the house clean enough for me toots". Nice huh? So yeah, that guy he's gotta be dead by now. And that poor little girl has no daddy anymore. So how was your Mother's Day? Do you feel like Lara Croft in Tomb Raider (Doom Series) and ready to kick some ass or do you feel like a queen? And if you have no kids...did you go out and laugh at husbands trying to shop?

Who busted my lip angelina Jolie Style?

The cold weather here in sunny FL, hasn't even hit 32 degrees yet, though that is expected tonight. Can someone please tell me what the hell happened to my big pouty bottom lip while I was sleeping? Remember Angelina Jolie's lips in Girl Interrupted where they have red lines from cracking? I have red lines and what appears to be teeth marks in my bottom lip. My bottom lip is normally very pouty to the point of being obese and now it's horrible. I just had a shopping extravagance for Blistex, I bought a few different kinds. Reading the ingredients really didn't work out so well, all I know is that chapsticks, etc..have a shit load of sunscreens, most have two or more things for sunscreen. That's great, but what about healing lips? This is a picture of my unchapped lips. If I had gotten off my ass and went to Circuit City, I could have showed you for real on Youtube. Scary though me having a web cam in my possession