Fuckity. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

Hook, line and sinker. Again. Shocking huh? I'm going through withdrawels, I'm jumpy, I'm edgy, and frantic. What if I can never have it again..do I look for something else..Do I keep trying without it? I've got alot of support, but it just isn't the same, I found myself glaring at three jackasses on the row of treadmills behind me, did they have to keep making that ruckus..why are the playing on the machines anyway..why are they setting the machine really fast to slide off without falling. Assholes. Someone should ask them to leave my glares weren't working. I sped up my speed so I made my distance and time a record for me because I wanted to get away from those jerks, but I didn't want to slack on my workout. It was hard enough to get myself there without my mojo that keeps my muscles pumpin. Dammit, where did I put it? I need it! Now! It's a sad sad day when you can't find your ipod and realize things at the gym just won't be the same.

I miss my ipod. *sniff*

I am sad. *pout*

I've been through the car, the house, asked at the gym, though I'm pretty sure I remember it being around my neck when I left the gym to go to the bank. Then it was straight home. *thinking*

Maybe I can go from a techie girl to a zen girl. Just get rid of everything, and listen to myself think..Oh wait I tried that, the voices came back and grew stronger. *crazy cuckoo*

Band-Aids for Bumblers

I guess I've been slacking with my blogging. Wish I had something funny to give you, but I don't. The good news is that I haven't been curled up in my bed. Progress I guess. I've been to the gym everyday except for Tuesday. I've kept up with my volunteering commitments. Now that I think about it, I wrote a long post Tuesday afternoon about a sad situation that really hit home with me. I didn't publish it. I saved it as a draft. Not sure why, but like I said it really hit me hard. Today's volunteering really help me, maybe more so than the people we were there to help. I left with a good feeling from it. I've learned to take those moments and put them in the tiny front pockect of the pocket of a pair of jeans, then when I need to know that I can get through something, I pull it out. It must be a magic pocket cause it sure does hold alot, and all those bits and pieces usually out weigh whatever I'm trudging through. And if I can only find one cause I wore the wrong jeans, I lick it and use it as a band-aid till I can take care of it later. A Band-Aid doesn't cure anything but it sure does help staunch the outpouring. By the way I use Hello Kitty Band-Aids, I have a box at home, a box in the car and a box at my mom's. Yes, I am that clumsy and I have thin blood that doesn't clot. CSI would have a field day in my house. And my husband is also a B+! Which is why I married him of course!

Grocery store karma

I'm a big believer in karma, not so much in the "you are going to hell for that". So today I'm at the grocery store buying stuff for dinner tonight. I was just coming from the gym were I had a good workout, I was there for almost three hours and on the cardio machines the whole time. So back to the grocery store, they had a sale on soda, and like always when it does go on sale, I load the cart up with four twelve packs. So far so good, I browse the veggies and fruit pick out what I want with very little trouble, I head to the ethnic aisle, I want tofu stirfry for dinner, so I go and check for new sauces that meet my dietary standards (low or no sodium, no fat, low carbs) if you look at every label you will find something different everytime you go to the grocery store. Today I found The Iron Chef's General Tso's sauce, It was five bucks, but would last awhile if it's really good and you only need a couple of tablespoons. Whatever it meet my rules, I'm worth it. I get to the check out and into my car, I'm already leaving and I started thinking about, they didn't charge me for the soda (nine dollars worth). So I'm conflicted, then I figure I'll be back and besides they sold us 4 jars of the recalled Peter Pan Peanut Butter which I didn't return yet. I know shitty thing to do just driving away. I get home carry the bags into the kitchen, honey starts to unpack the bags and before you know it the Iron Chef sauce rolls out of the bag and hits the floor and breaks. So now I have 4 jars of recalled Peanut Butter that can't be eaten and I didn't get to use my new sauce. How ya like them apples? So do I return to the store with the peanut butter and tell them I wasn't charged for the soda and give them the peanut butter back without a refund?

What would you do?

Find out later what I did in this situation...stay tuned