Where The Hell Am I?

It's Friday? How can it be Friday? It was just Tuesday. I've had plenty to say on YOUR blogs but nothing to say on my blog. The ebay thing isn't going to well. Which is ok, now I don't have to go to the post office. I tried to go on the 15th forgetting it was tax deadline day. What a freaking mess. And all I wanted to do was to have something weighed and to know the postage cost. I never did find out, I wasn't going to stand in that line and park a block away just for that.

I'm slacking on booking a hotel room for Honey's birthday, we have tickets to see Eric Clapton in Tampa and we want to stay two nights so we can eat lots of yummy Cuban food and hit a few Cigar Shops. Has anyone ever used Hotwire? It scares me that you don't find out the hotel until after you book and there are no refunds. At least on Hotels.com they tell you the name and have pictures and reviews.

Babyfred Needs Some New Clothes!!

I told her once, I told her twice..Baby, you need to save your money. Now she can't afford to go on a cruise for her Grandma's 70th birthday. She also wants to take her Uncle Fletch (our beagle) for allergy testing. So she has raided Mommy's (me) present box where mommy buys stuff year round to give as gifts. So with my permisson she has started listing stuff on Ebay

To visit her items go here: Babyfred Rocks

Let it go

I am so cranky I can't stand being around myself. I think it had something to do with going to Wal-mart. I hate Wal-mart. I hate Wal-mart. I hate Wal-mart. The cashier was a bitch and packed everything wrong. I had it all neat on the belt, like I wanted it packed. She must have been absent on bag packing day at Wal-mart College.

Why? What's the Problem?

I looked up sperm on eBay today. What a crock! There is no actual sperm for sale. Just a bunch of male virility products and gag items. I don't want to buy sperm, I wanted to get a idea of how much Honey's sperm is worth. It's not like we are using it, I hate to see it all go to waste. I told him it would be just like playing skee ball, you aim for the little cup and fire! I'm sure there would be plenty of women willing to pay for an ex-pro ballplayers sperm. He's tall, got great legs, a hell of a pitch and big brown puppy dog eyes. Shoe size 14 and 1/2wide.

Guaranteed fresh and made to order.

Double Dog Dare You

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I think I just threw up a little. I can't think of a more heinous day. Only if you hate your Mother would you subject to this.

SHHHHH!

quiet time.

Ba-Ba- BLING!

Try and get in my house..Don't be fooled by the pink collar, he's a bad ass.

Popinjay!

I feel pretty Oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and gay And I pity Any girl who isn't me today I feel charming Oh so charming It's alarming how charming I feel And so pretty That I hardly can believe I'm real See the pretty girl in that mirror there?Who can that attractive girl be?Such a pretty face Such a pretty dress Such a pretty smile Such a pretty me!I feel stunning And entrancing Feel like running And dancing for joyFor I'm loved By a pretty wonderful boy (GIRLS)Have you met my good friend Maria The craziest girl on the block? You'll know her the minute you see her She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock She thinks she's in love She thinks she's in Spain She isn't in love She's merely insaneIt must be the heat Or some rare disease Or too much to eat Or maybe it's fleas Keep away from her (Send for Chino)This is not the Maria we know Modest and pure Polite and refined Well-bred and mature And out of her mind !Miss America, Miss America, speech! Miss America, bravo, speech! (MARIA) I feel pretty Oh so pretty That the city should give me its key A committee Should be organized to honour me I feel dizzy I feel sunny I feel fizzy and funny and fine And so pretty Miss America can just resign See the pretty girl in that mirror there (What mirror, where?) Who can that attractive girl be? (Which, what, where, whom?) Such a pretty face Such a pretty dress Such a pretty smile Such a pretty me! (MARIA & GIRLS)I feel stunning And entrancing Feel like running and dancing for joy For I'm loved By a pretty wonderful boy

Popinjay. *A vain or conceited person, one given to pretentious displays.

From Peep Show Producer to Pet Pimper (Part One)

I blinged my pets. I brought home this pink love collar and added a huge rhinestone studded bow dog tag charm. This one is for my Doberman (male) named Zeus. He totally rocks the pink and even Honey said it's not so bad. Which is good that he learned to like . I wasn't giving in. I swore I would wear it if he made me take it off Zeus. I would take his picture but he retired to the bedorom to watch Cops and lay on the bed before it gets all crowded.

Fletch sports a gold collar with BIG rhinestones.Oh and his charm is a bone pave'd crystal of course. I would take his picture but he is wearing his cone head collar and we are calling him Scoop.

Fred didn't get her Easter Finery picture, since Easter was early this year...BUT she did get a new coat. I would take her picture but she is sleeping and I don't feel like getting stitches. It is the mac daddy of coats. You feeling me? I'm talking total Shaft from back in da' day

If My Turtle Goes Missing..

This flyer would be perfect if I lost my turtle, which I haven't, he's in his tank and he's alive..Or she. It could be a she. My sister would know if it were a she-turtle or he-turtle. She's very scientifically biology givenly gifted. I'm just sayin'

WOOF.

Put Your Lights On

I Really Really Want This

A pink violin. I want it.

Woman Like a Man

Still Homebound

Whatever is living in my chest refuses to break up the party and move the hell out. It's new name is Bronchitis and Reactive Airway Disease, which is kinda odd since RAD is caused by irritants and pollutants in the air and I recently purchased an air purifier. Monday I go to a Pulmonary Doctor. Hopefully we can get this cleared up, I'm sure my husband finds it ultra sexy when I start the never ending cough that sounds like I'm drowning or choking. I usually leave the room, cause if that was him I'd run too. So much for vaccines huh? Oh and Muccinex? Didn't do a damn thing.

Mostly I just want out of the house. Seriously. One of the drugs they added compounds the drowsiness of another drug that I take all the time, so my keys are pretty much off limits. Maybe I can persuade Honey to take me to Target. He always steers the buggy and keeps my purse while I run throughout the store like a kid in a candy store. That seems like a safe and reasonable request.

At least TV shows are starting to become new again. Sorry Kim.

Have Your People Call My People

310 miles apart, What's at road marker 150?

I'm Feelin Ya

I ain't writing much on here, but as most of you know..I've been leaving long ass comments on your blogs. Why? Because I'm sick again and they added FOUR more prescriptions. Honey was about to pull the I'll call your Mom card if you don't go today and to the other two appts I've made for you.. Bastard. Apparently I'm not pulling the "I'm fine" thing off very well. So while I can't think of any specific topic "Look! Oh pretty that sparkles!" on my own, your comment sections will be over run by loopy ass writing. Apparently, I should be better in 5-7 days. feel free to ban me.

Danger! Run! Danger!

So we are both sick. It started out with an itchy throat last week with honey, and I got a chance to take care of him for once. But then I had to go and come down with some kinda respiratory thing and he is back to work and taking care of me. I'm not sure what day it is, just that I can blow snot bubbles from my left nostril. That takes some real talent, and hmm well yeah free time. So we have all these safe sugar free, alcohol free syrups, and thera-flu, and alkaseltzer cold. Honey actually went to his Doc, mine is in Orlando and I'm not wasting a whole day of feeling like crap when I could be in bed feeling like crap. On top of that the antibiotics don't seem to be working and it's that good shit too, the kind like if you have malaria or gangrene. So I'm glad I'm just riding it out.I was spraying lysol all over the bedroom, I hope it's not toxic.

Good Gravy! It's Chicken Poop!

I love Chicken Poop!

Hey! No fighting!

Ta-da! Lap dances for everyone! Yay! Who doesn't like a lap dance? There's a little sumpton sumpton for everbody, well unless you are into farm animals..sorry you are on your own for that!

TGIF

It's the weekend and you know what that means . It's time to GET SILLY!

Two Things I Didn't Do

I can't take credit for this peep show. Whoever did it really out did me. Now I have another goal to beat this person. It's a tough act to follow, I'm going to have to get serious.

Now you are probably wondering why there is a picture of the Eiffel Tower in the same post as my peep show series. Andie just got back from Paris and unlike when I was there in December, she actually wrote about it. I didn't say much about it. Mostly because I loved it so much, that if I shared it too many times it might get boring to me. I do that with special thoughts, I harbor them deep in my head and in my heart so they don't lose any of the "magic spell" it has on me. Silly, I know. I guess I'm kinda secretive that way. So shhh don't tell anybody.

Peep Show Resumes

Peep Poo

Wa Jus Happen to Meh?

Uh-Oh somebody got out her box of crayolas and went to town... I should have been taking photos from start to finish but I didn't. This is where I'm at now..note the skeptical crinkled forehead and tired eyes. I haven't seen my mom in days, wonder why huh?

Even in black and white you can see that it is was one color. Brown.

And Was A Good Weekend

Hope you have found that somebody



Watching the credits roll, roll, roll right by me...

Root Canal Part Duex

I had to go back today from my root canal last week, I had no idea that they were doing a second root canal on the same tooth. I thought they were just going to make sure it was okay for the crown to be made. I was wrong.

However, it's amazing the things you hear them talk about while you are just sitting there. I almost shot a whole set of tools out of my mouth when they were talking about baseball, who they have seen, have they ever met one? Ever touched one? I'm dying because Honey was a baseball player, so I wanted to announce triumphantly "I fuck one!" But alas the subject was switched befofe I could say anything. Apparently this Endodontist is now single and was musing why it was so hard to meet and form relationships, why didn't anyone tell him that? To which the lovely assisant cherrfully chirriped "No one ever said it would be easy!"

Just Be Patient

Tra-La-La!

The seeds have been planted towards spring time flowers, tra la!

Oh Grow Up!

Peeps like to play lawn games like croquet .

I need a sippy cup. I had the privilege of having a root canal today. I keep forgetting my jowls are loose (heheh like loose bowels) and everything I drink just dribbles out of the left side of my mouth And unlike our regular dentist, this endonist did not let us run around the back office and patient rooms like screaming lunatics. Our regular Dentist lets me sit in the back, they were doing some major work on some of Honey's crowns, and I got to take pictures, film it and ask them why the letters on the gold cap were backwards. He said he puts them on backwards so when Honey looks in the mirror it spells out He-Man instead of reading Nam-Eh. Oh Ok, I get it now, good call, dentist man. Now pass me that drill will you? I gots a finger nail to fix.

This Should Shut The Dead People Up

Do you smell the Peeps burning? Since it is going to hit 38F today, I figure I'll kick start the grill and make Peep smores. Or maybe, just put some left over firecrackers in the peeps and watch them explode. It's raining peeps, It's raining peeps! God, I love peeps.

February 27, 2008

Cold to feel like the arctic to thin-blooded South Floridians

Posted by Ken Kaye at 11:23 AM

Rarely will you see the National Weather Service’s graphic depiction of South Florida look so colorful – all because of the cold air settling into the region.

Light blue for a wind-chill advisory. Blue-green, showing a wind-chill watch. Lavender, depicting a gale warning. Purple, depicting a high-surf advisory. And red, for a red-flag warning of wildfire danger.

The bottom line: It’s going to be chilly around here for the next day or so, even a bit colder than the weather service first predicted.

Temperatures tonight and Thursday morning in Broward and Miami-Dade counties are to fall into the low 40s inland and the mid 40s along the coast. It should be even colder in Palm Beach County.

Mix in a 10-15 mph wind, and the wind chill, or feels-like temperature, will be 35 to 40 degrees for most of the region.

To thin-blooded South Floridians, that’s going to feel like the arctic tundra.

“It’s really going to feel really chilly compared to what we’ve had,” weather service meteorologist Dan Gregoria said, referring to the record heat earlier this week.

High temperatures on Thursday afternoon were expected to remain in the mid to upper 60s.

“By Friday, we warm back up into 70s,” Gregoria said.

I Hear Dead People Part 2

Today I was at my mom's condo looking for her sewing machine, for my new hobby, quilting (it'll pass two-three days max). But that's not the point, I was searching closets for the familiar brown pleather case. And I hear something, it's not her cats. It's singing. I try to trace it back and end up kneeled over the toilet bowl in the master bath. There is no music, just singing. Weird. Nobody's car was parked in their spots, my car was the only one there except for some people working on the exterior. They I could see and hear. See, I'm not crazy. But the singing toilet that's the real stumper. It sounded like angels, and the cd in my car is The Pierces and one of the songs says something like "send me an angel to la lal la la". And I thought to myself cool, I wish I could just summons an angel to appear. I need an angel right now. But a singing angel in the toilet?

How many times do I need tell myself "careful what you wish for"

Peeps just hanging around..

Pink Peep Bunny Makes A Wish

Babyfred Loves Peeps

Oh my sweet little peep you are all mine!

Spiders, Peeps And Roaches Oh My!

So you might me wondering what's up with all the peeps. Basically it's been a pretty shitty last couple of weeks. I'm tired, I'm sick and I'm sick of medical tests. Quality of life is the issue here, specifically mine. It's always been good days and bad days but it seemed like the good always outweighed the bad. Or maybe I'm at the end of my rope and need a break. And this my friends is where the peeps come in. After the cute little photos are taken I get to destroy them. Kinda like the mentos and diet coke thing. It's silly, it's stuipd and it makes me laugh. It gives me a much needed break when I'm not at the Dr. I'm usually home dealing with all the medical bills. And trying to keep a clean house. Which I must admit is kinda hard while destroying peeps.

I Gots To Call My Peeps Posse

mama peep

mama peep with her eggs.

Peep Show Part I

It's Peep season! The original Peeps I should say. Honey brought me my first box and said enjoy just don't eat them in front of me. He thinks they are nasty, I think they are great. I like to play with them, then eat them. This year I am going to bring you the best of my peep shows, one peep at a time.

Today's Peep: The early Peep gets the worm!

A little geek love

If I had an extra 1400.00 to spend on my nephews, I would get each of them one of these at 699 a pop.

Seiko’s famous Think the earth watch is back with easier reading, new colors, and more accessories. As the Earth moves counterclockwise on your wrist you can experience planetary time in real-time.


How to use Think the Earth:

• Set needle-shaped Position Indicator to your country’s location (24 total settings).
• The orange hand is the minute hand
• The hour is indicated by reading the Position Indicator’s placement on the bezel
• The sun is always placed at 12:00, so if Japan is aligned with 12:00, the sun is shining due South.


A mere $699

Huh?

It's known fact that I hate algebra. And here's why: I don't see equation that is X + Y = Lindsay Lohan being the girl to recreate Marylin Monroe's last photo shoot. I highlited the parts of the article that were the funniest coming from Lohan.



Lindsay Lohan recreates Marilyn Monroe last, nude photo shoot
The Associated Press

South Florida Sun-Sentinel

6:48 PM EST, February 18, 2008

Lindsay Lohan is following in the footsteps of the most famous blond bombshell of them all -- Marilyn Monroe.

In the issue of New York magazine on sale Monday, the 21-year-old star of "Mean Girls" and "Freaky Friday" poses nude for photographer Bert Stern in a recreation of one of Monroe's most famous photo shoots, done shortly before she died.

Stern photographed Monroe in 1962 at the Hotel Bel-Air in California, six weeks before she was found dead from an overdose of barbiturates. Those images for Vogue magazine feature Monroe in next to nothing, posing nude with some scarves and jewelry as her accessories and sipping champagne.

Stern recreated those images with Lohan this month, at the same hotel, with Lohan wearing a blond wig and not much else.

In the essay accompanying the photos, Lohan, who admitted to a serious interest in Monroe, said deciding to do the photo shoot was easy.

"I didn't have to put much thought into it. I mean, Bert Stern? Doing a Marilyn shoot? When is that ever going to come up? It's really an honor," she told the magazine.

Lohan described Monroe's suicide as "tragic" and said it, along with the Jan. 22 death of actor Heath Ledger from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs, "are both prime examples of what this industry can do to someone."

The actress, who has been in and out of rehab after two arrests last year on drunken driving and cocaine charges, said she didn't know why the industry wreaked such havoc on some stars, adding, "I sure as hell wouldn't let it happen to me."

Stern told The Associated Press that he found women like Lohan and her tabloid companions Paris Hilton and Britney Spears "interesting."

"They're girls that draw attention to their notoriety and their celebrity through their behavior," he said Monday.

He noted that Monroe and Lohan had similar problems with alcohol but added that -- in contrast to the sessions with Monroe -- there was no alcohol on the set when he photographed Lohan.

He said he thought the photo shoot would be good for the young actress, giving her the chance to portray herself as a grown-up. He also lauded her for her willingness to do it in the nude.

"I thought she was a natural, not at all squeamish," he said.

A phone message left for Lohan's publicist Leslie Sloane-Zelnik seeking comment Monday was not immediately returned.

Paris In Trouble With The Law Over Pets

If you read the New York Post then you have probably already heard about Paris Hilton's alleged treatment of her animals. From Page Six:

February 16, 2008 -- THE Los Angeles Dept. of Animal Services is finally
paying attention to the plight of pets who have the misfortune to be purchased
by Paris
Hilton.
The celebutard brought the authorities down on herself when she
appeared Wednesday on Ellen DeGeneres' TV show and confessed she had 17 dogs.
The ex-con obviously didn't know it's illegal in LA to own more than three dogs
unless you're a licensed breeder.
The animal control squad paid a visit the
next day to Hilton's house in Beverly Hills, Page Six has confirmed. But when
they arrived, they found the house vacant and undergoing renovations. All the
dogs, cats, birds, ferrets and even a monkey had been placed with "handlers at a
ranch" - possibly permanently, said SPCA spokesman Jeff Blodgett, who added that
they gave Hilton a card, asking her to get in touch. (Paris has a history of
de-acquisitioning her pets).
Earlier this week, the Kris Kelly Foundation
repo'ed a cat they let Hilton adopt last year because she never returned to pick
up the feline after she had been spayed.
Hilton was also accused of neglect
in a thinly veiled blind item this week. Ted Casablanca reported on Eonline.com
about a woman who, "upon leaving her house, often locks these pups in one of her
many closets, supposedly to prevent them from making messies."
But sometimes
the woman "would be gone for hours, days, weeks . . . The animal's existence
would simply slip from her mind! Oh, doesn't that happen to everybody? While
cleaning the house, [her] staff have - reportedly more than once - opened a
closet to discover a tiny, dead dog."
Two years ago, Hilton's pet Kinkajou,
Baby Luv, bit the heiress, and her first chihuahua, Tinkerbell, now lives with
her mother, Kathy.
Last year, Shelby Segall, whose yard borders Hilton's,
told Page Six: "She treats her animals horribly. They are always getting out and
running around the neighborhood.
"She had a little orange kitty about a year
ago that kept getting out and we kept telling her it was outside. She didn't
seem like she cared, and then one day the cat got run over in the middle of the
street and died."
Another neighbor said, "I found two little chihuahuas of
hers running up and down the street with cars and people going up and down. I
put them in my bathroom and called Paris. Her assistant answered and said, 'You
can't drop them off! Miss Hilton isn't home!' She took three hours to come get
them."

Changing the Rules As I Go Along

The used to be four things I don't like to discuss, money, religion, politics and sex. I have decided that Valentine's Day belongs in that rule as well. It's way to controversial , it's one of the holidays you do or you don't like.And being a passive aggressive non confrontational person it just seems best. I must have sat at the computer on three occasions yesterday willing myself to write something, but everything was too personal, too braggart or just plain sarcastic. So here it is 2008 rule number 5478 of personal rights has been so decreed. No more talk of Valentines unless you are a young kids who needs help making valetines for her friends at the school. Because kids are cute in small doses especially around holidays. At least our 6 year old adopted daughter who lives with her real parents because we are cool like that is. This week she got to have Valentines and the Tooth Fairy.

To use, remove the sticker cover, ignite, and place on the skin in the desired points. Then, sit back, relax, and experience the warmth and aroma.Don't worry! Moxa are perfectly safe and do not burn your skin, but care must still be taken when placing and removing them.

______________________________________________________________________________________________
Included Moxa:

• Fruits: Apple, citrus, and sandalwood (50 pieces)

• Bouquet: Sandalwood, cinnamon, and rose oil (50 pieces)

• Thé vert: Green tea (50 pieces)

• Encens: Sandalwood, cinnamon, and clove (50 pieces)

• Instructions: (Japanese only)

All for only $69.00

TTQ says: The roof , the roof, the roof is on fire. We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn!

****

I HEAR DEAD PEOPLE

Somewhere in my neighborhood somebody is playing music with alot of bass. I hear a thumpin' and feel the pounding beats. It's like I'm in an apartment building again. This is a single family house. Very disconcerting. I should just hear the trickle of the fish and turtle tanks, and the hum of my computer. My fingers clicking under my nails. Why is my house vibrating?? Why does it sound like somebody is beating on my roof with a gloved fist?

WTF?? Is school even out now? I thought they got off at 3:30.

Face Off!

Blogger,Blogger who is the fairest of them all? You decide. The comment section is now open for voting. Oh and I just decided I am never ever wearing make-up again. It's a slippery slippery slope down down down...save yourselves from the Lancome Lady, it's an evil, evil, plot.

Telling You Now

Pegged!

You are late-sleepy relaxation, the half-awake moment when you realize it's morning, but you don't have to get up, because there's no place you have to be. You are that cozy spot under the covers where everything feels temporarily perfect, even if you know you'll eventually have to wiggle out and start the day. Maybe you're the artistic type, who doesn't function well on a normal schedule. Sleep's important to you, and you like the freedom of sleeping as late as you want (especially since that is closely related to the freedom to stay up as late as you want). You like to roll out of bed, put on some comfy clothes, and get a laid back start to the day. If not everything on your list gets accomplished, no worries. Your only priority is having no priorities – you just want to take things at a slow, mellow pace.

Let' Em Roll

My mom and sisters are going on a trip to Las Vegas this month. I was invited but declined basically due to health reasons. Maybe a few more. Like I don't gamble. Also in part that I promised Honey to keep traveling to minimum without him, and that is on top of the fact that we have decided to curtail our annual vacation at sea so we can get serious about doing some major upgrades to the house. At any rate it's just not a good time for me.

Traveling with mom is a blast and I hope my sisters get the full experience. I remember my mom and I taking a cruise the first week of my senior year in high school. I mean because really , you don't do all that much the first week, everybody knows that right? On this trip we were invited to sit at the Captain's table, I got to sit next to a smelly First Mate who was Greek and didn't speak English. However, there was man who took a fancy to Mom. After dinner he invited her for drinks at one of the ships bars. In order to keep her undivided attention, he would buy me a drink and give me a roll of quarters to play the slots. Like I said I don't gamble. I would take the quarters pocket them or maybe took them back the cabin and go back for another drink and another roll of quarters. I think I scored $40.00 and 4 free drinks. That's called a sure thing in my book.

Mickey's New Rival Sibling

Disney's MGM Studios now Hollywood Studios plans to open a new attraction based around American Idol. I'm going to puke. How many teen stars does Orlando want to chew up and spit out before they quit??

Just seen on the 6pm news.

She's Up! Way Way Up!

Babyfred waiting for liftoff, it's so cute when she does the count down 10...9....8 etc.
Atlantis and its seven-man crew roared away from their seaside launch pad at 2:45 p.m., overcoming fuel gauge problems that thwarted back-to-back launch attempts in December.

Great Googly Moogly

All day I have had bits and snips of random songs and commercials playing in my head. None of it makes sense, its absurd. Just a bunch of la-di-dadie, we like to party! I wonder if there is a severe lack of oxygen in Florida today. My brain is fried. Silly is as silly does. I have half a notion to go and take pictures of the Sand Hill Cranes that have been walking across all the roadways. Oh and we are getting our very own Starbucks in our area, like 2 miles from my house. Honey just called to tell me. And I though it was going to be bank. Does this mean we are a real town now?

The Pierces: Go To Heaven.

you are absurd
you say the cutest things i've ever heard
i don't think i can take another word

or my head might explode
and i will have to go to heaven
ooh ooh ooh... (repeat oohs)

Sad Day

Yesterday I got the news that a friend had died. He didn't just die, he comitted suicide. Honey saw his name sign into aol IM and sent him a message only to have the response come for Honey's Doc, who is the brother of our friend. He was going through e-mails and whatnot. I guess trying to make sense of it all. Rememeber a few weeks ago I asked if they had internet in heaven, because sometimes I was tempted to write a letter to him at his old e-mail, but was afraid that his family would be reading it. I have a hand written hidden journal for this kind of thing anyways. Therapists, sponsors and rehabs all encourage letter writing. Letters that will never be sent. a healthy outlet, a place to reflect, to get angry and to see your part if any in it.

This was a friend who always appeared to have it together, then he went through a nasty divorce, hated being away from his kids and moved back from Japan where he was a professional for a major import/export manufacturer. Honey tried like hell to help him when he started drinking again and it worked for awhile, but the more slips he made the more distant he became from us. He began moving around alot. He commited his suicide in North GA, nobody really knows why of all places he was there. The one thing I will say is he kept appearances up so well, not too many people thought he of all people would do such a thing. Honey and I being a bit closer knew he was heading for trouble, then he dissappeared. We weren't shocked to hear the news, nor were we angry. It's ineveitable for people with his type of drinking will die, end up in jail or mental institutions.

I know how he must of felt, I've been there before. The saddest part is his children, twins around 11 and an older child in their teens.

Bits Of Bumbles

From: Single + Cats= Sad

I found out yesterday that I was choosen to be a photo double for a new Spike TV show filming here. I'm a little nervous about this because apparently the photo I'm doing is for an episode where one of the show's characters is looking at a lingerie catalog. And then bam -- there's me.

The shoot's tomorrow.I hope it's from this catalog (imagine photo of girls in granny nightgowns).Um, ceasing eating, immediately. Spray tan, pronto.

I told my mom about it on the phone last night but said that I was a little wary about it because it was on Spike and I thought it could be a little shady.


Mom: "Oh, I don't get Spice TV. I think you have to pay extra for that."


Me: "NO! No no no no no! Not SPICE mom, SPYYYYYKE."


Mom: "Oh! Whew."
*************************************************************************
From: Wishful Writer

Most of you know I work at a school for kids with severe behavioral and emotional disorders.

But I have some new readers (welcome!) and it's important to set this story up in the right context.

Last Friday, the teacher in our classroom was working with the third graders on their reading skills.

She wrote down a word on an index card and asked the students to raise their hands if they knew what the letters spelled.

Kids learn to read in stages.

The first step is learning the sounds that each letter in the alphabet makes.

Usually, new readers will sound out the first letter of a word and then say the first thing that comes to mind.

Example:

Let's say the word is APPLE.

A child will sound out the A.

ah, ah, ah

And then he/she might say: ANT!

Or whatever A word comes to mind first.

Okay, back to my classroom.

Derrick's* hand shot up immediately after reading the word on the index card.

His hand was waving so hard that I actually felt a breeze on the other side of the classroom.

He was straining, making his torso as long as he could, in hopes that the teacher would call on him first.

Unable to resist, she did.

The word on the card was PULL.

He said:

"Puh, puh, puh, puh - PORN!"

Third grade, people.

Third grade.

The first P word he could think of was PORN.

God Love Him.

The silence in the classroom was met with laughter. Peels of it.

Derrick was so confused.

He truly thought he had the right answer.

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From:Swishy

So my brother is on break from college and he just got a job. Guess what his job is. Just GUESS.

OK, ready? Whatever you guessed: WRONG. My brother is test driving motorized wheelchairs. Like, in a warehouse somewhere. Just PICTURE that, will you? This is a kid, by the way, who managed to both drive into a ditch AND knock over a mailbox before he even got his driver's license. Which, by the way, we are not ever allowed to mention in my front of my mother without risking an hour-long lecture on being nice to our baby brother, but I digress.

Anyway, today was his first day, and apparently he now has an unshakeable case of the dizzies thanks to hours spent rolling around in slow circles. ("Every time I close my eyes, it's like I'm in the wheelchair again!" he says.)